The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

In or Out: Renee Zellweger

"Mmmmm! Lemons!"

Renee Zellweger attends the 'Otouto' (About Her Brother) Premiere during day ten of the 60th Berlin International Film Festival at the Berlinale Palast in Berlin, Germany.

We realize she's doing the patented "couture" pose, which is designed to make your waist look tiny, but Jesus Christ, is her waist really that small?

Wait a minute. Why is she doing a couture pose on the red carpet? Is she experiencing some form of hunger-induced fugue state and she doesn't know where she is? She's probably all, "Hunh. I wonder why they hired 30 photographers for one photo shoot? Oh well, time to pose! Remember the three P's! Pucker, Pout, and Purse! Where's the makeup girl? I feel shiny."

Carolina Herrera Pre-Fall 2010 Collection
Model: Aminata Niaria

Why is she posing like that?! Somebody stop her!

As for the dress... we don't love it. On her. Had it been worn by the septuagenarian it was clearly designed for, we probably would have given it a pass. Granted it's a bit too tight and short for the elderly, but she clearly had to have it taken in substantially from the sample size. The neckline, the unwieldy sleeves, and the bow in the back just say "Park Avenue dowager" to us even when paired with those killer shoes (Literally: ouch. We're experiencing sympathy charley horses just looking at her calves, both of which look like they're about to explode). OUT, but not for lack of trying. We probably would have been a lot kinder if she'd refrained from making those faces and poses.

That last sentence is probably the most accurate summation of her career we've ever read.


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