The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party

Such a wonderful cause. But enough of that. Let's criticize what everyone's wearing.

Christina Hendricks




We have HAD IT with this girl. She told us when we interviewed her that being on Mad Men taught her how to dress her body and try as we might, we just can't remember a scene where Joan Holloway stapled a trash bag to the bottom of a long line bra.

Debi Mazar





Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Robinson. It's her thing, these retro looks. Which is fine, she's turned out looking spectacular time and again over the years. It's a pretty fab dress, but yeah, it's just a little matronly.

Jennifer Hudson in Michael Kors



Pretty dress, pretty color, MEGA-flattering. Good choice, J Huds.

Kathy Griffin



Wow, she really looks amazing here. This is quite the departure for her. Normally she favors candy-colored party dresses but she looks so much more sophisticated here than she normally does. And damn, her body is impressive.

But let's face it: she's not D List and she hasn't been for a long time.

Katie Price



How is it that this chick, who is NOTHING BUT curves, looks like a straight line in this dress? How'd she manage that one? The color is a bit nausea-inducing and those satin tumors are hilariously wrong.

Kelly Osbourne in Sue Wong Spring 2010



The dress is pretty but the Carol Channing hair has GOT to go.

Kimora Lee Simons




Enh. Looks a little cheap, to be honest. And the dress isn't helping.

Lea Michele in Oscar de la Renta Pre-Fall 2010




We like her so much better when she's turned out in flirty little cocktail dresses. She looks beautiful here, but she also looks very serious and older than her age.

Michelle Rodriguez



The bust looks like a couple of soap dishes and the color and shine make it look very off-the-rack. Plus those shoes were a horrible choice. Congrats on the slammin' bod, though.

Milla Jovovich



The print's interesting, but what the hell is up with the fit on this thing? Not only does it have no shape at all, but check out the bust on that side view. This looks like she found an interesting fabric sample at 4 that afternoon and whipped this up in a couple of hours on her sewing machine. With her eyes closed. Drunk.

Niecy Nash



We're all for curvy women embracing their curves, but that doesn't mean you have to broadcast every bump and valley from 30 feet away. TOO TIGHT, Miss Neicy. Nice hair though.

Salma Hayek in Alexander McQueen Spring 2010




We love the prints from this collection, but let's face it: not every woman can pull them off in situations that don't involve a runway. Points to Salma for trying. The hair? Not loving it.

Serena Williams




It's alright. A bit too trash-baggy. The fit's nice but if there's one thing that girl doesn't need, it's a bustle.

Victoria Beckham in Victoria Beckham Fall 2010




LUV HUH. Flawless.

[Photos: wireimage.com/style.com]



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