The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

In or Out: Jennifer Aniston

She's baaacck!

Jennifer Aniston attends The Bounty Hunter Premiere at Cinema Gaumont Marignan in Paris wearing a Christian Lacroix couture gown, Manolo Blahnik sandals, Salvatore Ferragamo clutch bag and Fred Leighton earrings.

Christian Lacroix Spring 2009 Couture
Model: Aline Ilie

Oh, dear.

Jennifer, we're just gonna give it to you (haha!) straight: this isn't working for us at all. Now, before you punch us or throw your hands up in despair (preferably the latter) let us just say BRAVA, missy. This twisted pink schmatta looks like Molly Ringwald took a pair of scissors to her mother's old dress with her eyes closed and in a fit of rage, but honey! You're wearing color! Good for you! And while the gathered hem falling right at the ankle does tend to give this a sort of I Dream Of Jeannie's Night on the Town feel to it, the fact that you chose a hem that doesn't fall mere inches from your pelvis is another wonderful and encouraging step in the right direction.

Look, Jen. Here's a tip from us for free: you are that standard mass media icon, the American Good Girl. You are far from the first gal to fill this role and you will be far from the last one, but for now, you can enjoy your spot standing on the backs of your forebears like Mary Tyler Moore, Marlo Thomas, and even Doris Day. That's your image; that's your career. Because of that, you really should stick to classic American style. Simple. Clean lines. A bit of color every now and then. That's your arena. You stick to that and you can't go wrong. These fussy French designers are just not your cup of tea. It's like dressing Barbra Streisand in Baby Phat. It's just all wrong, sweetie.

Oh. You're OUT. But keep up the good work! And think about what we said.

[Photo Credit:]

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