The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Shear Genius S3E5

Kittens, what a boogie-woogie mess this episode was!

We're gonna skip the shortcut challenge for this post. We imagine "Cut a graduated bob but DON'T WET THE HAIR OHMIGOD!!!!" was scintillating to the hair stylists in the audience, but for us civilians, it was deadly dull.

And how come the short cut challenges this season are no shorter or less difficult than the elimnation challenges? Anyone else notice that?

Very weird challenge. Styling the hair of military wives? Great idea. Shooting a video to send to their husbands? Another great idea. Dressing them up like their grandmothers? Uh...okay. Making them shoot these emotional and personal videos for their husbands (sometimes in lingerie and bathing suits) while an entire panel of bitchy judges sits 3 feet away? VERY FUCKING WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE.

Although we do think a '40s-inspired challenge is a great idea because the WW2-era was probably the weirdest period for women's hairstyles in the 20th Century. Never saw styles like that before and never saw them again once it was all over.

And look, we're just gonna say it: we salute and appreciate the sacrifices our service men and women have to make, along with their spouses and families. It's not always an easy life and we respect that. But we don't burst into tears at the sight of them. Seriously, what was WRONG with some of these drama queens? How the hell do they get through Veteran's Day without having a complete breakdown?


The judges really loved this and we thought it was good, but not THAT good. Those bangs look like clip-ons and there are way too many elements to one hairstyle.


Clearly she had no reference points for the period. Honestly, we can't hold that against her so much because why would a 20-something hair stylist need to know what hair styles were like 60 years ago?


UN-FUCKING-COMFORTABLE, BRAVO. This poor girl had to dress up like a 1940s hooker in front of a group of judges and a who-knows-how-large crew. We're all for watching people on reality shows make fools of themselves in their pursuit of fame and money, but this poor girl just missed her husband and wanted to look pretty for him.

Oh right. The hair. Well, going the Veronica Lake route is a bit of a cliche and finger waves were really a '20s and '30s thing more than a '40s thing.


Flawless. Really. And we were happy to see him really go for it in terms of accuracy because let's face it, these Crawford-esque hairstyles don't look very pretty or flattering to modern eyes, which is why we think a lot of the efforts this week kind of fudged it on the accuracy. He went there and demonstrated that he has both the skills to do that kind of style and the knowledge to do it completely accurately.


This is a fairly good recreation of era-appropriate hair. It's slightly looser and therefore more modern than it should be, though.



All we could think of are the poor guys on deployment who were all "Hey! I got a video from my wife! Awesome! Let's play it and see-- what the fuck?"

Anyway, we'll give Radical Faerie here credit: we wouldn't have thought he had any knowledge of the period, but as bad as this is, it's era appropriate. Or it would have been if he'd done it correctly. We're just happy he didn't try to make her up like a WW2-era "indigenous person."


It's sort of cute but a little sloppy and only slightly era-appropriate. The hair back then was lacquered to within an inch of its life and not nearly as loose as this.

So Matthew and Tweetie are the final two, as it should be.

And Tweety wins it, which we don't agree with. Shouldabin Matthew. His hairstyle walked right off an MGM set.

Olivia Newton John, Tap Pants, and Attitudinal Fedora are in the bottom...

And ONJ goes home. Too bad. We liked her. Can't disagree with the decision, though.

[Photos: - Screencaps:]

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