The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Shear Genius: Congratulations!



Did that just happen?

Why the hell are they all dressed like they're in a traveling circus?

Why the hell is nobody mentioning the fact that this dude was a GIGANTIC FREAK?

What the hell is that THING on his head? Why the hell does he look like he's auditioning to play Anne Frank?

How the hell did Brig wind up the normal one at that table?

Why the hell do they always make a big deal out of taping a picture of your work up on the wall of the set? Especially when they're on the last days of shooting and that thing's gonna be in a dumpster in 48 hours? Children's crayon scribblings stay up on your average refrigerator longer than that.

Okay, it is totally nuts that she won. Not that we're disputing the decision. Quite the opposite: we sat there at the end yelling at our TV that Brig deserved the win but they'd never give it to her. We were utterly shocked by the outcome. And hey, when was the last time you heard us say anything like that about a reality show? They tend to be awfully predictable, especially at the end.

Let's break this down:

Right off the bat, crazy wins out over common sense. For some completely inexplicable reason, she picked two people who never won a challenge and consistently displayed a bad attitude. What the hell?

And we're sorry, but Fateemah was NASTY. Come on, don't openly badmouth the person you're supposed to be helping. That's just being a sore loser.

Okay, now look:

We realize that we're opening ourselves up for "ARE YOU NUTS?" responses in the comments section, but as weird and out-there as these looks are, we think they're pure genius. As Linda Wells said (and she seriously needs to be made a permanent judge in the Nina mold), it was something no one had ever seen before.

And while douchebag Jonathan had a point when he said she didn't actually do anything to their real hair but cover it up, The Lips of Vo came roaring back with the point that using hairpieces was very much in line with what the challenge required.

And how crazy was it that Vo was defending her so vociferously? Who'da thunk?

Of course the charge could be made that the judges were scrambling to justify giving the win to her, since it's a producer's wet dream to get the camera-hogging crazy one to win it. But as much as we tend to throw around the accusation, we really don't think this was a producer-driven decision. Those judges (with the exception of douchebag) were honestly blown away by these looks.

And frankly, so were we. That is some seriously editorial hair and it's hard to look away from it.

But the real genius of it (and this is something the other two challengers lacked in their looks) was that it went so perfectly with the clothes (which we liked, by the way) that they didn't distract from them, despite their attention-getting quality.

It all just came together perfectly. We can see these looks on the pages of a magazine and we can definitely see them on the runway.

Who cares what you think. You're a douchebag dressed like a cater waiter.

So, big kudos to Brig. We still maintain that she's the biggest attention whore we've ever seen on a reality show, but she kept the season interesting. There's an argument to be made as to whether this outcome really means one could say she's more talented than either Matthew or Janine, but that's how these shows work. She might not have been consistently at the top the way her two challengers were, but when it came time for it, she pulled out some damn impressive work.

And besides,

Any outcome that allows us to get such a perfect illustration of "swallowing bile" is an outcome we can get behind.

Congrats, Tweety! You great big yellow freak.

[Photos: Mickshaw - Screencaps:]

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