The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Shear Genius S3E9: Attention Whores Don't Like to Have Their Picture Taken

Obvious reality show is obvious.

Hey kids! Can you tell me which one of these things is not like the other? Look closely now! See if you can spot the differences! Want a clue? Run your cursor here: Look for the big fucking freakshow.

"STALLus, mY hAYRE is impOORdand. Also, it is a fucking pAYn in the ASS. Do sUMtheeng wid it."


If we understood her correctly (which is by no means assured), Camila thought this looked old"young." She's smoking crack. It does look pretty un-polished, though.


If Camila says this 'do would have gone limp early in the night, we guess we have to take her word on that. It's pretty limp already so we see her point. Also, that netting is very Janine but it doesn't seem very Camila.


While it's true there's a little bump at the nape of her neck, this is a gorgeous 'do and a deserved win.


We liked the shape of this but we're not convinced it's a good shape for Camila. Also, the back doesn't look so hot.

No idea who he is but we were pretty impressed with his fabulousness. Someone should set up a blind date with Tim Gunn.

Random angry Janine picture.

So there was some sort of elimination challenge with models and photographers. We can't remember the details because they just kept going on and on and we were all, "The challenge is you have to STYLE HAIR. GET ON WITH IT." And then we sort of zoned out for a while because we opted for a box of Pop Tarts in lieu of dinner because we had a long day yesterday and we reserve the right to do that sort of thing every now and then.

Brown Sugar Cinnamon, if you must know.


That picture of Matthew is so hilariously obnoxious we can't stand it.

They received their instructions from the producers and the judges followed them to the letter. "Stop praising Matthew so much! Nitpick the shit out of his styles!" These were fine and totally Matthew but the judges went a little overboard in their critiques.

Honestly, Jon. You could have gotten a better picture of yourself out of a photo booth.

The short 'do was cute but that redhead! What the hell? That looks like a "before" picture.

Janine wants you to know she's adorable and she doesn't become obsessed with other hair stylists and trash talk them and mean girl stalk them because she's adorable and she's not like that.

That afro is hilarious. In fact, we want a t-shirt that says that: "Your afro is hilarious." It's SQUARE. She gave that poor wigstand a total Lego head. As for the second look, it looks great in the picture but we feel sorry for that wigstand when she tries to style it at home for the first time and figures out she's got a totally unworkable haircut.

Brig's picture was the only one among the stylists that actually complimented the subject, made them look competent, and gave you some idea of who they are. That she did it with Tweety yellow hair and a bow the size of a pizza box makes it even more impressive.

Total deserved win. They're cracktastic and they looked ridiculous when she walked them on set, but they photographed fantastically and they were pure Brig. Whether Jonathan likes it or not, that was the whole point to the challenge.

A pictorial we like to call "Brig Wins a Challenge: An Emotional Journey." Take a look:

Stark. Raw. A tour de force. We plan on seeing it again and again.

Poor Jon gets sent packing. We can't exactly disagree since that redhead looked pretty sad, but we felt for the guy because he was stuck smack in the middle of the conflict between the kewl kidz and the freaks while he was just trying to stay in the game and that didn't look like much fun to us.

[Photo Credit: - Screencaps:]

Post a Comment

Labels: ,

BALMAIN for women