The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Shear Genius: Wonder Twin powers...ACTIVATE!

Let's wrap this shit up, shall we?

"Ohmigod, can you believe we made the finals? Awesome! Let's sing something from Moulin Rouge."

"No, let's talk about how awesome we are. And cute."

"That's true. We are awesome and cute. Too bad we have to share this moment with that freakshow."

"Let's not pay attention to her. Tell me how awesome I am."

"You are clearly as awesome as I am, seeing as how we're both standing here."

"Wait. Does that make the freakshow awesome too?"

"I thought we weren't paying attention to her."

"Right. Well! Let's face the judges. I just want you to know, no matter which one of us wins, that only means the other one is only slightly less awesome than me! I mean, 'than the winner!"

You may have noticed that we didn't attribute any of those lines. Let's face it. These two are pretty much interchangeable except for their special bits. You have to admit, whether you think Brig deserved the win or not, these two NOT winning was a delicious moment.

What shocked us (aside from Brig winning) was just how unimaginative their looks were. We'll state it right now: despite their annoying personalities, Matthew and Janine were clearly the ones to beat from the beginning and clearly were more talented than the majority of the competitors.

Let's start with Janine's:

We think her styles were gorgeous, to be honest.

We really liked the combination of shiny and frizzy.

The only aspect we truly hated were the chains, which came across like a desperate last-minute attempt to make these looks seems edgier.

Because that was one of the two major problems here, her looks, while beautiful and very runway-ready, really didn't go with these clothes at all.

The other problem is that she sent one model after another down the runway with the same style. In a real runway show, that would be acceptable and even a little expected, but since this is a hairstyling competition - and the finale to boot - she should have realized that was not what the judges would be looking for.

She did attempt to throw in some different looks but they had absolutely nothing to do with the previous looks. She went from being too cohesive to throwing in a couple looks that didn't go at all.

Still, her work here was gorgeous and distinct. Had she made it all about variations on a theme instead of repetitive with a couple incongruous looks to make it look not so repetitive, she might have won this.

Matthew, on the other hand, had no chance of winning with these looks, which were either standard and done to death, or weird for the sake of being weird.

This is fine. Nothing earth-shattering but it went with the clothes and it was done well.

This puzzled us. It's a great look and it definitely fits the tone of the collection, but it is SO not innovative and we were open-mouthed at Jonathan's praise of it. Just how narrow is his perspective if something like this had him praising it as if he'd never seen it before? Granted, the zippers were a fun touch, but the pony tail mohawk is nothing new.

Then again, we tend to think that Jonathan hated the idea of a woman winning it.

As for the rest of it...

Done, done, and done. We think these looks were fairly cohesive and went well with the clothes, but we also think they were amazingly unimaginative for someone who displayed as much talent as Matthew did during the competition. Good hair, but nothing to shout about and definitely nothing to award prize money to.

And with that, we close S3 of SG. Remember: Hayre is impordand!

[Photo Credit: - Screencaps:]

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