The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Lanvin Ladies

Static cling? Static ZING!

Darlings, it is time once again for T Lo to do their duty as bitchy judgmental gay men. You see, if it weren't for bitchy judgmental gay men, the world would be a dreary place where everyone dressed like Communist China and no one would know the difference between a salad and a dessert fork. True story.

This time, we're using our gay powers for the good of starlets everywhere. If you are a starlet and you are reading this, pay attention. Those queens you hire to dress you aren't going to tell you this to your face, so it's up to the pro bono queens like us to speak truth to power.

Consider the following:





Claire Danes attends the gala celebrating Chopard's 150 years of excellence at The Frick Collection on April in New York City in Lanvin Spring 2010.




Kate Hudson attends the gala celebrating Chopard's 150 years of excellence at The Frick Collection on April in New York City in Lanvin Spring 2010.





Natalie Portman attends the 2010 New York City Ballet Spring Gala at the David H. Koch Theater, Lincoln Center in New York City in Lanvin Spring 2010.

Distressing, no? There's something distractingly incongruous about a woman with perfectly coiffed hair, thousands of dollars worth of accessories, and a dress that looks like the tissue your grandmother kept wadded up in her sleeve for emergencies.

Starlets, unless you plan to reach the red carpet via helicopter or cherry picker, it's best not to wear dresses that looked like they just came out of the dryer sans the benefit of a dryer sheet. If you must arrive at an event in a car like a mere mortal, either ride naked and put the dress on as the limo is pulling up to the venue or better yet, just avoid these types of twisty drapey messes altogether.

You're welcome.

[Photo Credit: wireimage.com]


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