The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Yea or Nay: Big Honkin' Socks with Heels


Kittens, it is to laugh. We're putting this out there to see how you'll vote, but we're fairly certain we already know. Dance for us, minions. Dance.

Christian Dior/Dolce & Gabbana

Erdem/Jean Paul Gaultier

Jonathan Saunders/Marc by Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs/Marni

Prada/Rag & Bone

The editors and fashionistas that drive trends always try to throw this one out once or twice a decade and really, no one's been biting since the '80s when little lacey anklets worn with classic pumps caught on. Now, they're trying some new elements to make this crusty old favorite seem exciting: open-toed shoes and heavy, men's style socks. This, we have to say, is not a step in the right direction.

We'll say it outright, because we're just that bold and daring: This is a look that can only be pulled off by a 20-year-old Size 0. Not because 20-year-old Size 0s are somehow prettier than the rest of the world but because when you're really skinny and really young, you can get away with looking like a total smacked ass for a while and get everyone to believe you're trendy. In other words, aesthetically speaking, this is a look that doesn't really look good on ANYONE. It's just a style thing. A way for bored designers and fashionistas to play with elements for a little while before discarding them because it'll never really catch on. A runway and photo shoot kind of thing. Oh sure, fashion editors are going to keep trying to push it and some trendwhores will follow it with their noses in the air as they gallop past the rest of us, but let's face it: most women do not want to look like a Victorian couch from the knees down.

Until then, we're fine seeing it on runways and in editorials. As a bit of a styling statement it can be interesting, but in real-world terms, it'll never fly.

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