The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Miss Universe 2010 National Costumes, Part 2

Hit it again, ladies!

Miss Albania Angela Martini

Miss Albania attempts to jump on the Flying Stripper bandwagon with Miss USA. Unfortunately, her sad little wings are clearly non-functional. Besides, she looks a little bit like a gargoyle and that's not hot.

Miss Angola Jurema Ferraz

AAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Miss Angola will KILL YOU AND EAT YOU!

Miss Argentina Yesica Di Vincenzo

Miss Argentina does not have time for your silly costumes. Miss Argentina is here to find a husband.

Miss Aruba Priscilla Lee

As is Miss Aruba. Our money's on her.

Miss Belgium Cilou Annys

There's nothing better than playing tennis in 4-inch heels with yards and yards of fabric trailing behind you. Really ups your game, we hear.

And in case you didn't pick up on the subtle themes here, Miss Belgium kindly carried a tennis racket and stuck a tennis ball in her hair for the slow people in the crowd.

Miss Colombia Natalia Navarro

Miss Colombia will be accepting human sacrifices by the fountain outside the Mandalay Resort right after this photo call.

Miss Croatia Lana Obad

When did the national costume portion of the program get crossed with the swimsuit portion? When did all of these countries decided that the best way to represent their culture and accomplishments was to put a girl in a bikini? Because when we hear "Croatia," a girl in a bikini is not the first thing to spring to mind. Or the 50th.


Miss Egypt Donia Hamed

Even stranger than the ones whose costumes seem to have nothing to do with their country and everything to do with their tits, are the costumes from countries that have clear and obvious cultural references that the wearer simply doesn't want to incorporate. The thinking here seems to have been "It's gold! That's kind of Egypty, right? Please don't expect any more of our women to dress like Cleopatra. They're all sick of it."

Miss Finland Viivi Pumpanen

Miss Finland wants you all to know she's ready. Find her the rich man and she can get married at the drop of a hat. Ask her about the wonders of Finland and she'll spit out "I'm great in bed and I'll make you happy!"

Miss France Malika Menard

The French have issued a fatwa and Miss France has gone into hiding.

Miss Georgia Nana Gogichaishvili

Miss Georgia's pissed that she went the traditional route. She's all, "Shit. Even that ugly cow from Croatia got to wear a bikini."

Miss Great Britain Tara Vaitiere Hoyos

If she really wanted to be provocative, she should have shown more skin and had her sash say "BEEFEATER."

Miss Greece Anna Prelevits

So here are the only themes as far as we can tell:

1)Stripper
2)Bikini
3)Some sort of goddess figure
4)Bride

At first we were all "That's a sad commentary," but you know what? It's the Miss Universe Pageant. The only "commentary" here is that silly girls will do silly things for fame and money.

Miss Guyana Tamika Henry

Miss Guyana just got back from taking down an evil Tiger Lord. She will be returning to the jungle shortly, but she just wants to wear 4-inch heels for a little while longer.

Miss Honduras Kenia Martinez

Miss Honduras is a gigantic feathered cat creature and she will fuck your shit up if you piss her off.

Miss India Ushoshi Sengupta

If you're gonna be all tasteful and appropriate, Miss India, you might as well stay in your hotel room.

Bitch.

Miss Ireland Rozanna Purcell

"Faith and begorrah! The wee folke took my skirt and forced me into stripper shoes!"

Miss Italy Jessica Cecchini

"Italy! We kill people!"

Miss Jamaica 2010 Yendi Phillipps

That's how it's done, people. Go and get it, Miss Jamaica.

Miss Kosovo Keshtjella Pepshi

In Kosovo, their showgirls pay homage to cows.

Miss Lebanon Rahaf Abdallah

She's not really Miss Lebanon. She wandered in from a Ren Faire and someone slapped a sash on her. She's not even Lebanese.

Miss Netherlands Desiree van den Berg

"The Netherlands! Where we all dress like Shirley MacLaine circa 1978!"

Miss Norway Melinda Elvenes

Sigh. Go stand in a corner with Miss India, Miss Norway. You're ruining this for us.

Miss Panama Anyoli Abrego

"COME TO PANAMA WHERE ALL OUR WILDLIFE IS OUT OF CONTROL!"

Miss Puerto Rico Mariana Paola Vicente

To be honest, we actually think the rainfall effect is kind of cool. Although we're not sure what the message is here. "Come to Puerto Rico! There's a 65% chance of rain!"

Miss Romania Oana Paveluc

She looks like a wedding invitation from a bride with ADHD.

Miss Serbia Lidija Kocic

Miss Serbia wants you to check out her basket.

Miss South Africa Nicole Flint

We're not sure what this has to do with South Africa but we have to admit the colors are beautiful.


Miss Sweden Michaela Savic

Her dress was packed in 30 small boxes, required a special child-sized tool to put together, and will fall apart the first time it gets humid.


Miss Trinidad & Tobago LaToya Woods

YES! Trinidad & Tobago is not fooling around here!


Miss Ukraine Anna Poslavska

"Come to Ukraine. We have wheat."

[Photo Credit: gettyimages.com]

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