The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

PR: Top and Bottom

Up is down! Black is white! Girls are hot!

Ivy, when she wasn't repeating whatever Gretchen said, told us that this collection was so awe-inspiring and soul-wrenching that it felt like giving birth. Well, Ivy?

Model: Ekaterina

You made yourself one ugly baby.

Did you ever see someone walking down the street so badly dressed that you had to resist the urge to pull them aside and say in your best yenta voice, "Sweetie, every single thing you've done here is wrong. Drop everything and come shopping with me." That can't be just us, right? Anyway, that's the urge we get when we see this. It's like a cacophony of wrong.

We'll ignore the drab fabric choices, even though they're suitable only for back-of-the-closet office wear. The old stuff that only gets worn when everything else is dirty or at the dry cleaners or you have a pimple or crazy hair or you're bloated and you just need something to keep you legally clothed for ten to twelve hours. Yeah. We'll ignore that.

Instead, look at the insane cut and proportions here. Literally, everything combines in as wrong a fashion as possible. The waist on the shorts is too high; the shorts balloon out because of the pleats and then cinch again because of the cuffs, causing a huge diaper effect. The blouse is blouson when it should be fitted and it has no buttons or details of any interest. The puffy sleeves with the cinched cuffs are ... what's a word for "completely lacking in style?"

And the vest is pure Maude. Honestly, we think you have to be pretty delusional not to see how many design issues are evident in just one look. In fact, we have to say, having reviewed this, we're thinking A.J. was scapegoated. This is a much worse look than his. And his was bad.

We have to smile when we watch Peach in action because it's become increasingly obvious that she's The Fan Who Snuck In. You can tell she's been watching this show religiously and now that she's on it, she's adopted the tactic - and we honestly don't know if it's working for her or not - of acting like she's on a TV show. "That's not how a team challenge works," she says, and she's not talking about dynamics, or even design; she's talking about what usually happens at the end of team challenges and how they can adjust their behavior knowing the likelihood of that outcome. Pardon the 2003-ism, but it's totally meta. She's on a reality show and she's adjusting her behavior based on what she already knows about how that reality show works. It's either brilliant or desperate, depending on how you look at it. We kind of lean toward brilliant.

Model: Ify

At any rate, Peach had herself a good week. She asserted herself in the group and did it in a mature and professional manner (mostly) and she managed to break out of her design shell and do something that impressed the judges.

It impressed us too but you know us, we have to be bitches. We've already said it's hard for us to love a lace top, but she really did do a bangup job on this one.

And her top calls back to Casanova's without being a ripoff of it, just like two pieces in a collection should.

We like the high-waisted skirt and it was, for the most part, executed well.

But we did not love this touch of '90s Versace-ana. We got why the group was going for it (military), but we thought it looked really dated. Still, we have to commend peach because she found a way to place it without looking vulgar. This could have easily turned into vajayjay chains.

Plus, the bustier looks a bit sloppy and we HATE the color story. We think this particular color combination looks unsophisticated.

And those shoes were a hilariously bad styling choice. But Peach, we luvya. You entertain, you've got a strategy, and you can kick it out when you know you've made one too many Barbie outfits. You go and get it, girl.

Tim Gunn's Workroom:

[Screencaps: - Video Credit: - Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke/]

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