The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

Rachel Zoe Project: The Not-So Dearly Departed

"I'm. So. Up. Set."

Y'know, we never really warmed up to Taylor because, well, because she's almost impossible to warm up to. We have no doubt that working for Rachel could make anyone a little bitchy, but she seemed to go out of her way to make everyone around her uncomfortable.

Having said that, we were shocked at the accusations flying around in the wake of her departure. Accusations that were both serious in their implications, and ridiculously vague in the details. The staging didn't help the situation either, as if we're all supposed to believe that all of this went down on the first day of shooting of the 3rd season instead of playing out over several months. "Ohmigod, did you hear about Tay?" "Ohmigod, what happened with Tay?" Ohmigod, I can't talk about Tay." Please, bitches.

To be honest, despite our, at best, ambivalence about Taylor, we couldn't help but take her side on this one. Is it possible she stole clothing and fudged expense reports? Maybe, but we'll never know, will we? All we have is the word of her former boss, using the platform of her cable reality show to smear the poor girl. In fact, that she so openly utilized that platform makes us question all the vague charges against Taylor at all. Why didn't they sue her or file charges against her? Could it be because there's not a lot of there there? Could it be that smearing a former employee on national television is far more satisfying and beneficial to one's own image than taking her to court, where such vague charges won't hold water?

And what's all this bullshit about Taylor finding other work, as if it's some sort of grand betrayal? Apparently, in ZoeLand, you work for Zoe until you die and if Zoe fires you, then you are never allowed to work again.

And Brad, we luvya, but you fell in line awfully quick, didn't you? "Ohmigod, I'm so upset about Tay." (pause) "Ohmigod, Tay was so awful and I'm glad she's gone." Puh-leeze, this was all a not-so-finely crafted drama and we're left wondering how the hell they can get away with this without risking a lawsuit from Taylor. Like we said, it's possible everything they're saying is true, but given how they handled it - in the most public manner possible - we don't think it's likely.

Oh! And that fireplace scene! how unintentionally hilarious was THAT? Darlings, now you know what to do when you experience that all-too-common problem: when your spread in a national magazine comes out an awkward time. Important Life Lesson, people. Important Life Lesson.

In other news, Demi Moore! Giraffes! Balloons! Admit it, that sequence was fun to watch, wasn't it? And a primer on just how much work goes into these editorials. Demi looked good, but not nearly as flawless as the final pictures showed. We're looking forward to seeing more client interaction in future episodes and more of Rachel doing her job, because she really is very good at it. Please, RZP, don't lapse into Kell On Earth-style employee drama. No one wants that. Demi Moore in a gorgeous Carolina Herrera gown kicking a beach ball? More, please.

And finally, for all her vapidity and bad-mouthing of former employees, we couldn't help but love her glee when she got the clothes from Chanel and immediately started trying them on. Call her shallow, but we can't hate a woman who loves Chanel that much that she'll leap out of her makeup chair, mid-hair-styling, just to try on a couple jackets and purses and gasp in delight.

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