The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011

In or Out: Angelina Jolie in Versace

Oh, come ON.


Angelina Jolie (and Brad Pitt) attends the 'The Tourist'
European premiere at CineStar in Berlin, Germany in Versace.









If she'd ever given the impression that she has a sense of humor, we might have been willing to go with the charitable take and offer that maybe she was just having a little fun. But since she's one of the most self-important and therefore humorless celebrities on the planet, we suspect she wasn't joking when she put this on. If we were her gays and she insisted on this dress, then we would have insisted on a cape and a witch's hat to finish it off. In other words, if we were her gays, we'd be fired pretty much the very first time we opened our mouths. And probably even before that, since we'd show up for the first fitting with "Team Jen" t-shirts on, just to be cheeky.

Maybe we're being harsh. We keep stepping back and cocking our heads and squinting our eyes, just trying to find a reason for this. As far as we can tell, the only reason is that Angie's flogging that Dark Mysterious Woman schtick for all it's worth. Nothing wrong with a black velvet dress (even if she reached her quota on that one years ago), but a black velvet dress that has built-in gloves? No. Bette Davis circa 1978 would have rocked the shit out of this but she ain't no Bette Davis. It looks gimmicky and costumey and given her carefully cultivated persona, just a bit too on the nose. In fact, the only way it could be more on the nose is if she turned around and "HOME WRECKER" was spelled out in sequins on her ass.

Bitchy? Youbetcha! OUT.

P.S. Brad looks pretty good. We suspect he got his face refreshed recently.


[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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